Plotting a Return
Well... 27th July 2013. The last physical entry I made to DeviantArt, my last journal post and so ended my five year and two month stint. In fact I've been away from DA for longer than I was regularly using it. I won't lie, a lot has happened. And I might share some of that. None of it went to plan, some of is incredible, some of it absolutely catastrophic. And in these bizarre socially deprived times, I'm craving a community I left behind - not because I didn't want to be part of it, but because life just started getting in the way.
Not too long after I joined DA I left college, started Uni, finished Uni, moved back and forth across the county. All that time DeviantArt sustained me and supported me. But I eventually found a job, and not long after that I quickly dedicated my time to writing a play that had a tight deadline. My first relationship ended whilst that was going on and by that point, DA and art in general just shuffled quietly to the back of the queue. After that came the next job, then a relocation, then my own business, including disaster and bad luck abound, followed by a pandemic that has swept the world and for all the bad that it has brought with it, it's also saved me from being stuck in an area I hated. Luck - this time good - has brought me back to the area I call home and in need to reclaim my creative side.
It's going to be a rocky pathway. My creativity has sharp rises and sharper falls lately. I'm riddled with crippling self-doubt. Ideas come in new formats; in equal measure for a strong creative identity I can forge my life through, and merely to keep the flame alight - to distract from the isolation, basically to keep me feeling like I can. This kind of introspective work is not something I've ever explored for risk of public vulnerability. If you look through my gallery rarely did I post anything personal. I've scrolled through my old journal posts and while some touch upon subjects they seldom explained the feeling and emotion behind the writing. The artwork I posted in the past has never been personal. It's been fan art and only occasional bursts of true originality and inspiration.
It might be that it's time for a change.
The gallery doesn't truly reflect my ongoing style. Though I have doubts about removing anything, I think you need to know where you've come from to understand who you are. But I feel I've moved away from fan art. I feel I'm no longer the 13th Doctor. That name was forged in a time where a 13th Doctor was far and distant. I can see DeviantArt has had a reinvention or two in the time I've been gone. And I think my page may do the same. Not quite sure how that's going to be yet. And not saying there will be a ban on fan art either. I still enjoy doing that, it's just no longer my focus.
I am not the best artist of all time. In fact I only have to look at the log in page to see countless works I could never do. I'm not a digital artist, I like to do things by hand. It's less vivid and less sophisticated looking, and in my eyes it looks terrible against others. But that's a creative person in a nutshell. Your own work is never good enough. And while I genuinely believe that mine is really awful, I guess it is what it is and all I can aspire to is to create what I want to in the hope that people find an appeal and a unity in the style that I can never do.
Above all, if any of my old friends from here are still active, drop me a reply. Or a message. I've missed the community on here.
And in case any of you think I have become too sentimental or too emotional - just know that I've spent the whole of this journal entry saying to myself "Christ that sounds wanky".
My new film! 'Fisherman's Forfeit'
www.virginmediashorts.co.uk/fi…
Thanks to anyone who's already tweeted it. If you haven't and can find it in your heart to do so I'd be very grateful.
The film is only 2 minutes 20 seconds and is a short fairy tale about a cocky fisherman. It's great fun.
Written and produced by moi, we're hoping for a good response. So! If you like it, share it on facebook and get it out there, but encourage people to tweet as these are the only shares that count as votes.Either click on the tweet button under the video or simply put the film's name, Fisherman's Forfeit followed by #VMShortsVote
A call to all Twitter users!
However, today is a big day. I seek help from all you Twitter users. My new short film has been entered into the Virgin Media Shorts competition. I'd love it if you guys could watch this, share it and in particular, tweet it! Either put the film's name (Fisherman's Forfeit) followed by #VMShortsVote or just click on the twitter share button under the video. Getting into the shortlist is at stake.
www.virginmediashorts.co.uk/fi…
Hope you guys enjoy it, would love to hear what you think.
All Quiet on the Western Front.
However, I am here once again and last night I submitted a couple of new pieces into my gallery which perhaps illustrate a slight change in direction for my style of work. Which is something I've been trying to find for a good long while now. I've become sketchier and more confident in my ability to draw without absolute precise detailing dictating me.
Writing still eludes me somewhat. My list of ideas and concepts for stories grows ever longer, with not any one close to being complete. I feel it's a lack of direction. I don't quite know what tone I want to write, I don't quite know what mood I'm in. Take the past two weeks as an example; I've become increasingly entrenched in a phase of the 1940s and wartime spirit. Yet I've so far three different routes to take with it - one a slow paced science fiction mixing the 40s and present while evoking a sense of the War of the Worlds, the second a black comedy following two agents on a secret mission, and the third a more grim reality-based tale. Medal of Honor has been my soundtrack and Band of Brothers my nightly viewing. I look around my room for further inspiration from the 40s. My charcoal felt Trilby, the Royal Navy and RAF caps sitting in my wardrobe. My RAF greatcoat hanging up. The commando knife placed on a shelf. The slightly rusting Nazi helmet. The 1917 typewriter sitting atop a filing cabinet. The light green glow of the bankers lamp on my bedside table. Finally to that Union Flag-backgrounded-now-horrendously-overused-'Keep Calm and Carry On'-poster. Yet the direction is still not there. Not yet. Until then all is quiet on the western front.
Also I must add I'm really thinking of doing a new 1940s themed photoshoot... It's been too long since the Victorian lot and 1940s would be awesome if we could do it.
I will push through those defenses though. Eventually I'll get writing again and hopefully produce something worth putting out into the public. Perhaps even have something made from it, who knows.
Until next time...
Happiness.
As in: Being happy.
As in: I've never been more so.
That is all.